The Art of Giving
Self-less giving.
Is there such a thing?
It is argued that charity, giving, hospitality are all means to an end. They are not truly selfless, but the one giving gets much in return for their giving and it is for this return that they give.
It is called reciprocity. I do a service for you, then you owe me a service in return.
It is argued that selfless giving is impossible, or in the least that it does not exist.
Giving without any thought of getting something in return. Altruism it is called. Does it exist? I think it does. People do not give to charities so they can support the wounded and needy in the world just to make themselves feel better, they truly want to help.
Of course there are many who give to make themselves feel better, or they give for bragging rights or other such coarse reasons, but that does not mean altruism is not possible or does not exist.
Likewise, simply because we cannot know someone’s true motives does not mean that all people are suspect. And that is the true difference between reciprocity and altruism. It is not in how much they give or where they give it, but in their motives. In the mindset in which they gave.
In the article entitled “The Art of Pursuit”, I made the claim that to receive true happiness, you must be willing to give. There are those who give and expect to be happy. And are angry when they are not. Pastors preach that when you give you will be blessed in return. So they give with great expectations of getting great blessings for their “righteousness”. Their motives are nothing close to altruistic, but selfish. And they become disillusioned to the idea when the blessings they had in mind do not come.
In all honesty, when you truly give altruistically, giving with absolutely no thought of any return or interest, someone else’s happiness becomes more important than your own. So when there are no fake feelings about the act of giving, there are no fake outcomes. Happiness comes. Success is real when it is tied inextricably to serving others.
In the book “Good to Great”, successful companies are studied and compared. Within these top-notch companies, a distinction is drawn between companies that are merely good, and those that are truly great with a lasting greatness to them. Do you know the number one characteristic of a CEO of a great company is? The number one difference that makes a good leader great? A great leader is a servant-leader. He serves his employees.
How is this so? Is that not a weakness? There are two ways to control people in this world. Through fear, or through love. Fear is a powerful motivator as long as the ones being controlled does not have the courage to break free. Love is always the best motivator. Why? Because those being “controlled” through fear will respect the leader only for the sake of saving their own skin. But those who serve in love will be respected and followed not because of the repercussions if they do not, but because they want to follow their leader. If they had a chance to “break free”, they would not do so because of their respect for their leader.
Why do I go into this? Because if happiness is contingent upon giving altruistically, then giving is contingent upon serving. Being a servant.
As the immortal words of Jesus Christ displayed, “To be the greatest in the Kingdom, you must be the servant of all.”
Jared Williams
Is there such a thing?
It is argued that charity, giving, hospitality are all means to an end. They are not truly selfless, but the one giving gets much in return for their giving and it is for this return that they give.
It is called reciprocity. I do a service for you, then you owe me a service in return.
It is argued that selfless giving is impossible, or in the least that it does not exist.
Giving without any thought of getting something in return. Altruism it is called. Does it exist? I think it does. People do not give to charities so they can support the wounded and needy in the world just to make themselves feel better, they truly want to help.
Of course there are many who give to make themselves feel better, or they give for bragging rights or other such coarse reasons, but that does not mean altruism is not possible or does not exist.
Likewise, simply because we cannot know someone’s true motives does not mean that all people are suspect. And that is the true difference between reciprocity and altruism. It is not in how much they give or where they give it, but in their motives. In the mindset in which they gave.
In the article entitled “The Art of Pursuit”, I made the claim that to receive true happiness, you must be willing to give. There are those who give and expect to be happy. And are angry when they are not. Pastors preach that when you give you will be blessed in return. So they give with great expectations of getting great blessings for their “righteousness”. Their motives are nothing close to altruistic, but selfish. And they become disillusioned to the idea when the blessings they had in mind do not come.
In all honesty, when you truly give altruistically, giving with absolutely no thought of any return or interest, someone else’s happiness becomes more important than your own. So when there are no fake feelings about the act of giving, there are no fake outcomes. Happiness comes. Success is real when it is tied inextricably to serving others.
In the book “Good to Great”, successful companies are studied and compared. Within these top-notch companies, a distinction is drawn between companies that are merely good, and those that are truly great with a lasting greatness to them. Do you know the number one characteristic of a CEO of a great company is? The number one difference that makes a good leader great? A great leader is a servant-leader. He serves his employees.
How is this so? Is that not a weakness? There are two ways to control people in this world. Through fear, or through love. Fear is a powerful motivator as long as the ones being controlled does not have the courage to break free. Love is always the best motivator. Why? Because those being “controlled” through fear will respect the leader only for the sake of saving their own skin. But those who serve in love will be respected and followed not because of the repercussions if they do not, but because they want to follow their leader. If they had a chance to “break free”, they would not do so because of their respect for their leader.
Why do I go into this? Because if happiness is contingent upon giving altruistically, then giving is contingent upon serving. Being a servant.
As the immortal words of Jesus Christ displayed, “To be the greatest in the Kingdom, you must be the servant of all.”
Jared Williams
